Dr. Malibu just asked me why he wasn’t mentioned for his efforts in trapping my upstairs neighbor.
I responded that if Dr. Malibu had actually caught something, there would have been a starring hero role.
Dr. Malibu then pointed out that they build statues of guys that only hit the ball 1/3 of the time.
Despite my almost fanatical obsession with sports I was completely unaware of this fact.
Unwilling to post any information that is absolutely not the near truth I asked him, “Who?”
Dr. Malibu then cited the following sources and asked me if he should keep going….
Willy Mays has a statue of him at AT&T park in San Fran he batted .302 lifetime
Albert Pujols has a statue of him and he batted a career .325 and still plays today in Anaheim
Stan The Man Musial batted a career .331 and he has many statues….
Let’s review the scores:
Dr. Malibu 0
But since he’s citing baseball statistics – and we all know – THERE’S NO TIME LIMIT IN BASEBALL – the game is still not over. It’s tied up and we’re in extra innings.
There could be a statue in Dr. Malibu’s future….
You know what I hated most about living in my old apartment? Having someone living right over me. Never bothered me during the day, but at night, when I was trying to sleep, my old neighbor walked around like he had bricks tied to his feet. I could hear every drawer open and every closet door close. And some other details I could have lived without…. But he was a nice man who once gave me a Christmas tree and so I’m glad I never said a word.
Seven months into my move at the Bungalow I see I have a new neighbor. I hear him at night, right above my bed. He walks a lot lighter but I can still hear his little feet, and the scraping or chewing that is taking place. (probably another detail I can live without knowing) He’s not paying rent so he’s going to have to go.
The question is – how the hell is he getting in? I’ve walked around the house several times, inspecting every tiny nook and cranny. I crawled up on the roof to see where there’s a chink in the amour of my fortress. It’s killing me that the rat is smarter than I am. He obviously figured out a way to get in. He’s also been smart enough to avoid the allure of peanut butter baited trap.
Lately – he’s been quiet. Maybe he met his demise by a neighbors cat. Or maybe a neighborhood owl. I can only hope.